


Spider Spins a FamILY

by IS_THAT_MOSS



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mild Gore, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IS_THAT_MOSS/pseuds/IS_THAT_MOSS
Summary: The first thing he saw was a spider.......For the first time in 12 years, Virgil couldn’t wait for the day to start.Yeah.Virgil definitely could get used to this.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 116





	Spider Spins a FamILY

The first thing he saw was a spider.

Ironic, right? 

Virgil opened his eyes only to see a spider and a young boy who couldn’t have been older than three. 

Virgil felt a wave of emotion shoot through his body at the sight of the spider. 

He started to scream.

Why? He had no idea.

But the little boy started to scream too, crying hysterically. 

Suddenly another young boy appeared, looking exactly like the first but with glasses and a large grey cardigan. He ran to the toddler, worry on his face.

“Thomas! What's-” the other looked down at the spider, the color draining from his face. “S-spi-SPIDER!!!” He yelled, stepping back in fear. The young boy, Thomas apparently, called out for his mom, who came rushing in with a newspaper.

Virgil’s head started to swim, his vision going spotty. His breathing shallow and fast. The last thing he saw before he passed out was the other’s wide eyes, finally realizing he was there. 

When he woke up, Virgil knew something was wrong. He was on a couch, but it wasn’t the room he was formed in. He took a second to do a body check. 

Legs? Still there.

Torso? Nothing hurts, so that’s good. 

Arms? Yeah, they’re okay. 

The four, long, black, skinny arm-like appendages protruding from his back? Yep- wait **what?**

He jumped up, spinning around trying to get a good look at the appendages. He was breathing heavily again, eyes darting around the room. He caught his reflection in a turned-off tv and nearly screamed. 

His reflection stared back at him, all eight beady eyes. All of them were pitch black except for his main right eye, which was a swirl of black and purple. He opened his mouth in a silent scream, only to close it again and let out a sob. His mouth was filled with unbelievably sharp teeth. He choked back a scream when he felt _and_ saw his appendages shiver.

“Hey kiddo, I heard-” He spun around to see the other from before, holding a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. They stared at each other, waiting for the other to move first. 

“Patton, what is taking you so long-” Virgil whipped his head towards the new voice, seeing another person who looked nearly exactly like the other, but this one’s glasses were more square and he wore a dark blue cotton button-up. He regarded Virgil with a curious glance. “Ah, that explains the outburst from earlier. I will assume you have just formed?” He said, looking Virgil up and down.

Virgil wanted to run, but he had no idea where to, so he just nodded and tried to hide in himself, causing the appendages to wrap around him. The second other nodded and put his hands behind his back. 

“Well, based on data from Thomas’s outburst from earlier and the form you have taken, I will assume you are the personification of Thomas’s Fear and, most likely, his Anxiety seeing as you are now a permanent member of the mindscape.” He stated, barely taking a breath the entire time. Virgil stared at him, then at Patton, then back at him. Patton stared at him, hands gripping the cookie platter. 

“Who… are... You?” Virgil asked slowly through his hands, testing out his voice. It was low and growly, a reverb causing it to come out distorted and, in Virgil’s opinion, absolutely terrifying. The second other’s eyebrow raised as Patton gasped. Virgil backed up against the couch, bunching up as much as he could. He felt a dip on the couch next to him and looked up to see Patton two cushions away, the plate of cookies between them.

“Hey, you’re okay. You had a pretty extreme first day, y’ want a cookie?” He asked, smiling. Virgil could still feel the fear radiating off of Patton, but not as much as before, and how he knew the other was afraid was a headache he didn’t want to deal with. He nodded and reached out for a cookie, surprisingly still warm and gooey. He bit in and smiled, uncurling a bit.

“Thank you.” He whispered. He felt the fear almost completely disappear from Patton as he smiled. 

“No problem kiddo, happy to help!” He said, smile near blinding. Virgil looked away and continued to nibble on the cookie, his teeth making it a little difficult to chew.

“So, what’s your name kiddo?” Virgil whipped his head around, his fear spiking. He curled in on himself more and Patton’s smile faltered. “Oh no, you don’t have to tell me! Take your time, alright?” He said, eyeing the appendages. Virgil noticed his fear of his appearance and frowned. The second other cleared his throat, causing Virgil to jump. 

“Okay, now that introductions are out of the way, I feel the need to point out that because he did not,” he looked Virgil up and down, eye’s lingering on his spider appendages, “form like the rest of the primary sides, it is a possibility that he belongs to the others.” Patton’s smile completely faded at this, and Virgil felt panic set in. There are more of them?!

“Logan, you don’t know that! Maybe he’s just-”

“I do know that, Patton. If he were one of us, would he have formed the” Logan paused and looked over Virgil again. He was really starting to not like this dude. “-Insect like qualities he has?” Patton looked down in defeat. Yeah, Virgil definitely did not like Logan. Logan crossed his arms and sighed.

“Janus!” He called, causing Patton to look up at him with his eyebrows furrowed. Virgil was about to ask what the hell they were talking about when a small section of the floor rippled like liquid, a person slowly emerging from the floor. Virgil watched in horror as they revealed themself, half of his face was snakelike, his eyes slit and scheming. He smiled as he saw Virgil, and Virgil saw why Logan thought he should be with him. They both looked more like monsters than humans. Virgil felt something bubble within him. Patton scooted towards Virgil protectively, causing a flurry of emotions within him. The snake man, Janus apparently, looked towards Logan.

“Hello, Logan. What do I owe the pleasure of being ripped from my room and summoned here?” He said sweetly, but Virgil felt the anger behind the words. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who didn’t like Logan. Logan looked at him and lifted his chin. 

“A new side has formed today, and we believe that he belongs to your side of the mindscape. If you could take him and explain his existence that would be most appreciated.” He said, pushing up his glasses. Janus turned his eye’s towards Virgil, a small smirk on his face. Virgil looked away and tried to hide more. 

“Ah, wonderful. I assume you were formed when Thomas had his encounter with the spider this morning.” He said. Virgil stuffed a couple more cookies in the hoodie he had on and stood up, eyeing Janus. He kept his appendages wrapped around his body.

“Yeah… I guess. Can we get this over with? I’m kinda tired.” He said, hunching a bit. 

“Fantastic,” Janus replied, voice laced with sarcasm. Virgil looked at Patton, who was smiling. How he could always smile even when he was so obviously uncomfortable was a mystery to him, but Virgil tried to smile at him. 

“Thanks for the cookies.” He said. Patton’s eye’s glimmered.

“No problem! You can visit anytime you want, alright?” He said. Virgil nodded and walked towards Janus, who swung an arm over his shoulders and sunk into the floor. 

**_*~~~*_ **

It had been two weeks since he was formed, and Virgil was tired of Janus’s and Remus’s shit. 

For some ungodly reason, Remus loves to walk around their section of the Mind Space butt ass naked, wielding his mase and swinging it at anything that moved. Virgil learned the hard way not to get within eyesight of the asshole when he was “brainstorming” when he had to spend three painful days on bed rest while his spider legs re-grew after Remus decided to _rip them off like a maniac_. 

He also learned that the Primary Sides, as Janus calls them, have a breakfast and dinner meeting in the common room. Apparently, they all had to share the same kitchen and dining room. Of course, Janus did not tell him about this fact. So, imagine his surprise when he was in the ceiling corner of the kitchen eating straight out of the cereal box (like all anxious spider-monsters with insomnia do) when the brightest, most extra motherfucker Virgil had ever seen strolled into the kitchen belting Disney songs at the top of his lungs. He hadn't noticed Virgil, but about three seconds after his entrance, Patton bounced in. And ain’t Virgil’s luck shit, because Patton noticed him. Virgil watched the color drain from Patton's face, and Virgil saw his short life flash before his eyes. 

“Patton, what has your- HOLY MOTHER OF MARY-” Was followed by the dude screaming and almost throwing a pan at Virgil before Patton stopped him and introduced each other. The dude, Roman apparently, was obviously not happy with the addition of the new side.

“Another one of them?! God, you would think my brother would be enough but noooo-” He pointed to Virgil, “This creature had to spawn!” Virgil rolled his eyes and dropped the cereal box back onto the counter. 

“Oh, believe me, Princy, I’m not exactly pleased about it either.” He said, still hanging off the ceiling. What can he say, it's comfortable. “At least you didn’t rip my arms off the second you saw me like that asshat you call a brother.” He joked, then realized the joke went straight over their heads. Roman’s hand and grimace had dropped while Patton looked on the verge of tears. 

“He… he hurt you?” Patton asked, voice breaking. Roman looked extremely disturbed, staring at the ground like it had just insulted his mother. Virgil scrambled to make Patton not cry.

“It didn't hurt that much! It just... stung a little bit and they grew back! I'm fine now see!” He walked across the ceiling and did a flip, trying to cheer him up. Patton looked a little more relieved, but still obviously upset. Roman clenched his fist. 

“It doesn’t matter if it didn’t hurt, he should know how to control himself by now.” He growled, looking up at a shocked Virgil with a soft and sincere expression. “I am terribly sorry he hurt you.” 

Virgil had no idea how to respond. The dude who had just tried to kill him with a pan and insulted his entire being was now _apologizing_ for Remus. The most Remus or Janus had said was “ _It happens. You’re okay now. Want a bite of my deodorant?”_ So to say Virgil was speechless was an understatement. He dropped off the ceiling and darted out of the room, pretending to not hear Patton’s invitation for breakfast.

When he got to his room, he cried. Why? He had no idea, but he did. He was angry and scared. Angry at Deceit not caring and Remus being, well, Remus. He was scared of them, too. Virgil didn't tell anyone, not even Deceit, but he had spent those three days in the worst pain ever. He barely remembered what happened, only a flash of memory, and those memories were not good. Fever nightmares and a never-ending loop of panic attacks and crying had left him unable to tell reality from the images his fevered, pain riddled brain was creating. He remembered when he had gained enough energy to shuffle his way to the kitchen that last night, only to see a half-naked Remus staring into the fridge. Virgil nearly collapsed in fear. He remembered the smile on Remus’s face as he spoke as nothing had happened. _“Oh, look who's decided to leave his pity party! It’s been three days, and I thought_ **_my_ ** _brother was a drama queen!”_

Virgil hated him. Deceit was even worse. He had brushed it off like it was nothing. Like it was a simple squabble between friends that had worked itself out. _“You’re okay now. Remus gets like that, just how he is.”_ That had made him feel even worse. They made it obvious they didn’t care. Everything about his set-up was terrible. 

So he cried.

And he wondered if it was too late to join Patton for breakfast.

**_*~~~*_ **

It had been two years since he formed, and Virgil felt utterly alone. Thomas had just started a new school, so Virgil was working overtime. Virgil hated working. Not because he was lazy, but because everything he did was a detriment to Thomas and the others. Remus didn’t even acknowledge his presence farther than _“Hey spider, want to freak out my brother?”_ which he always declined, and Janus… well, that was a whole other issue. Janus was acting so weird. Always asking about his work, how things were coming along, giving him hints and just, watching Virgil. It was really starting to annoy him. 

Then there were the Primary Sides. Patton was, in every sense of the word, fantastic. He dropped off a plate of cookies at Virgil's door after he had a panic attack that caused Thomas to go into an existential crisis. Apparently, Logan noticed the panic and deterred it so Thomas wouldn’t get hurt. Virgil was grateful that Thomas was okay, but felt terrible that he had made Logan work harder than he should have to. He ate the cookies (obviously) and put the plate away with a note apologizing. The next week, Virgil had found a book on his bed. It was about mental health and was a good 500 pages long. There was nothing else, just the book. Virgil smiled and started reading, knowing Logan would not want the knowledge to go to waste.

Then, there was Princy. Fucking Roman and his bright smile and nice laugh and his flashy clothes. Roman had started throwing fruit into the corners of the kitchen when he felt Virgil’s presence. Much to Virgil’s amusement, Roman usually looked stupid until he nailed him in the face with an orange. But, what's really infuriating about him is why he does it. No matter how many times Virgil asks him _what the hell are you doing_ he just makes some snarky comment about how _well if Patton won’t let me use his pans or my sword then I’ll just have to resort to the sweet succulence that is the orange to make you stop sitting in the ceiling corners!_

Virgil just thought he was being, well, Roman, until he overheard a conversation between Patton and Roman.

“Why do you keep throwing fruit at the ceiling corners? Sometimes Fear isn't even there, or in the same corner.” He heard Patton say. Virgil was about to interrupt the conversation, but Roman’s defeated sigh stopped him.

“I don't know Pat, he just seems so… agh! He’s so thin and pale, and he obviously doesn't take care of himself. I just- ” Virgil's eyes widened at Roman’s words. He… really cared?

“Oh Ro, it’s okay. That's just how they are, I guess. I mean, he really should be taking care of himself, and if it makes you feel better then throw that fruit baby! Just-” Virgil didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, as he had run back to his room. 

What the hell was this feeling?

**_*~~~*_ **

It had been ten years since he had formed.

It sounds like a long time, right?

Thomas had just turned 14, and Virgil was freaking out. 

See, Roman and Patton would not stop gushing about someone in their class.

A guy, in their class.

It would have been bearable if they were talking about a girl, but a boy!? Not any boy, but one of the most popular, sports playing, fuck boy boys in the entire _grade?!?!_

Yeah, Virgil was not loving it.

“Oh, there he is! We should go up and talk to him!” Patton squealed, and Thomas smiled. Patton and Roman had not noticed Virgil’s appearance while they were gushing over him. Virgil felt Thomas’s anxiety, and he knew he had to step in.

“Guys, what if he’s straight?” All talking stopped, and they stared at him with wide eyes. “Or even homophobic. What if he knows immediately that you are trying to flirt and he tells everyone, or hurts you, or even worse: He goes along with it only to drag you along and humiliate you in front of the entire school?” Virgil steps towards them. Roman balls up his fists and steps towards Virgil.

“Oh yeah, what if he is bi? What if he is too afraid to be himself, and when he sees how open we are he will profess his undying love for us!” Roman refuted. 

“Unlikely, but even then, have you seen how he treats those girls?” He pointed to the crush, who was surrounded by girls. “He treats them like shit. He is also a serial cheater. If that's how he treats his love interests, is he really our prince charming?” He asked. Roman gasped and Patton sighed. 

“How dare you-”

“Roman, he has a point,” Patton said, shocking both of them. Roman spun his head around to face Patton.

“What?! What do you mean he has a point!?” Roman screamed, face going red. Virgil felt something about the pouty face he made but decided to push that down for another day. Suddenly, Logan appeared.

“He means that he had a valid point about the subject. If we were really to go after him, our advances would most likely get rejected and would end up hurting Thomas. The worst-case scenario would most likely be him being homophobic, but I am not sure exactly what would happen from there.”

“But what if he’s bi?!” asked Roman, arms flailing. 

“Again, he made a valid point. Based on the way he not only treats those he is interested in but also his reputation with past relationships, it is most likely that if we were to get into a relationship with him, then it would end quickly and painfully. It is not worth the risk.” Logan’s last statement left them all silent. Thomas sighed and went off to his friends, leaving the crush to his girls. 

Roman was obviously furious. He turned to Virgil, hand raised in scolding.

And for a split second, Virgil saw Remus, and he flinched.

Hard.

When he looked up, he saw Roman eyes filled with confusion and worry. Patton had almost an identical look on his face, and Logan looked curious like he didn’t understand why Virgil would flinch at a scolding. Virgil felt hot, he needed to leave. Roman stepped back and sunk through the floor without another word. 

“Hey kiddo, are you-” Virgil didn’t hear the rest of what he said, for he had sunk down and ran to his room. How fucking stupid was he? Flinching like that made him look weak, and he couldn’t be weak. Remus and Janus feed on weakness, and he could not be weak. 

…

…

Roman didn't throw fruit at him the next time he was in the kitchen. 

**_*~~~*_ **

It had been 12 years since he had formed. Remus got bored. But instead of ripping Virgil’s spider legs off this time, he decided to snap them off at the tip joint, the Tarsus, and then burn the edges. Virgil was asleep when he woke up, confined to his bed, and the worst pain he had ever felt shooting up his back. He screamed as loud as he could, his voice distortion shaking the room. Remus laughed and continued his torture. Virgil nearly passed out, but the pain stopped when his door swung open. 

“FOR THE LOVE OF DISNEY-” Virgil heard a voice shout. He could barely see, his vision was spotty from the pain, but there was someone standing at his door, staring at a space above him. It was silent. 

“Remus, what are you doing?” Asked the voice, and Virgil didn’t know if the voice was shaking from fear or anger. 

“Why, we're just having a little fun! Weren’t we, spider?” Asked the voice on top of him. Virgil’s breathing hitched. Why couldn’t he breathe? He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. He tried to move his hand, uselessly struggling against the rope. He knew he was going to pass out soon, so he looked at the figure as best he could, trying to speak. 

“Help…”

The world went black. 

**_*~~~*_ **

Virgil was warm when he woke up. He felt warm and happy, like the first time he had one of Patton’s cookies. Virgil sighed, wanting to go back to sleep. He heard a gasp.

“He’s waking up! No don't touch him, he might freak out, go get the cookies!” Said a voice, not as strong as the one from before, but softer and kinder. Before… what happened before? 

Virgil’s eyes shot open. Remus. Legs. Fire. Door. Help. Virgil gasped and sat up, wincing at the pain. He felt a hand on his chest and he screamed, a guttural growl that made the room shake. The hand left his chest, then a pair of eyes were in front of him.

“Kiddo you’re okay now we’re not going to hurt you but you need to lay back down, okay? Can you hear me kiddo? Can you lay down for me?” Said the voice. Virgil noticed the glasses, then the freckles, then the messy brown hair, then the face. 

“Patton?” He rasped, breathing heavily. Patton smiled and nodded. 

“It’s me, kiddo. Can you lay down for me please?” Patton put his hand out again and Virgil batted it away, looking around the room.

“Where- you can’t be here- he’s gonna- where is he? He’s gonna hurt- I can’t let-” His breathing got shaky. Where is Remus? He could hurt Patton, he has to get away.

“Hey hey hey look at me, look at me.” Virgil looked at him. “Remus isn’t here. We’re in the Imagination right now. He can't hurt you here. You are okay. Can you repeat that for my kiddo? He’s not here, he can't hurt you.” Virgil took a shaky breath.

“H-he’s not here, he can't h-hurt me…” He repeated. Patton nodded. 

“Again.”

“He’s not here, he can’t h-hurt me.” He said again, his heartbeat slowing and his breathing slowing. 

“There we go. Can you lay down kiddo?” Virgil nodded, wincing as Patton helped him lay down. “There we go. You’ll have to stay here until you heal.” Patton whispered, rubbing circles into his hand. Virgil looked around, noticing the gothic architecture and the high ceiling of the room. The only window almost went to the ceiling, and the bed he was in was an elegant canopy bed, white chiffon cloth leaving everything covered except the side Patton was on. 

“What-what happened?” He asked, voice quiet and raspy. Patton frowned and sighed, holding Virgil’s hand.

“Well, we were all working on Thomas’s dreams when a scream shook the mindscape. The dream turned into a nightmare where Thomas was getting torn apart-”

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I should’ve stayed silent-”

“NO!” Patton yelled back, startling Virgil. “I-I’m sorry. It was not your fault, you needed help.” Virgil looked away, Patton sighed and continued telling Virgil what happened.

“Roman was upset that his work had been disrupted, we recognized the scream as yours and he left before we could argue. I followed him, but I was too late…” Virgil gasped and pulled Patton close.

“Don’t tell me- please- he didn’t-” His voice broke. God, that was Roman? Remus could have hurt him. What if Remus did hurt him! Was that what Patton was talking about? Too late to save Roman?! God, it was all his-

“No! Oh heavens no, Roman is okay. When I got there he was on top of Remus, wrestling the… items out of his hands. You were… on the bed… completely unresponsive. I called for Logan and we got you out of there. Roman brought you to the Imagination and we’ve been waiting for you to wake up since.” Patton started rubbing his hand again. Virgil sighed in relief and looked back up at the ceiling. It felt like forever before the door opened.

“Patton! I got the cookies! Is he-” Roman ran to the bed, a plate of cookies in his hand. He handed the plate to Patton, who had to let go of Virgil’s hand to grab it, leaving it open for Roman to grab, which he did. “Oh thank god! You’re awake! I'm so sorry, so so so sorry-”

“It’s fine Princy, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, it’s not fine! I knew what my brother was like, and I didn’t- I didn’t-” Virgil squeezed his hand and smiled.

“Prince, what could you have done? I knew what he was like too, it’s not your fault. You came to my rescue… thank you.” He rasped. Virgil felt something wet hit his hand and looked up to see Roman crying. “Why the hell are you crying?”

“I don’t know! But I am, so deal with it, my Damsel in Depression!” Virgil laughed at the nickname, causing the two to smile.

“Damsel in Depression? Really?”

“Well, what else am I supposed to call you my Sassy Stormcloud?” The new nickname caused Virgil to laugh again, wincing at the pain. Patton stood up and wiped his hands off on his pants.

“You’re probably thirsty, I'll go get you some water.” He rushed out of the room, leaving the two alone. They sat there, silently, for what felt like eons. Virgil felt a tug in his chest, a different kind of warmth settling in his heart as he held hands with Roman. He closed his eyes, smiling. He knew what this feeling was. 

“Virgil.” He said, causing Roman to look up, confused.

“What?”

“You asked what else you were supposed to call me, how about my name?” He met Roman’s eye’s, who were shining. The lighting made him glow, looking almost magical. Virgil blushed and looked away. “Just… don't tell the others.” Roman laughed, and Virgil decided it was the best sound he had ever heard.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, Virgil.” He smiled. Virgil closed his eyes, falling asleep before Patton returned.

**_*~~~*_ **

It had been 12 years and 1 week since he had formed, and Virgil was very uncomfortable. All the sides, even Janus and Remus, were having a meeting in the dining room to discuss last weeks… incident. It was absolutely silent. Remus was cleaning out from underneath his nails with a dagger, Ignoring the heated gaze from Roman. Janus and Logan were just, staring at each other, not moving or even blinking. Patton looked between all of them, and Virgil stared at the table. Why did this have to be so much more difficult than it had to be? 

_SLAM_

“WE’LL GIVE YOU THE SPIDER TWINK FOR 10,00 DOLLARS!” Yelled Remus, slamming his dagger into the table. Roman slammed his hand on the table.

“HE IS NOT AN OBJECT TO BE SOLD YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!” He yelled, Virgil flinched at his tone, going unnoticed by everyone at the table. Remus leaned forward.

“YOU’RE JUST MAD I HAD THE TWINK UNDER ME BEFORE YOU!” Remus shouted, absolutely shocking everyone at the table. Roman looked about ready to explode, and Virgil just wanted to hide. Roman growled and lunged at Remus.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD-” Before he could get a hit in, Logan stood up and held him back, looking more annoyed than anything. “LOGAN LET GO!”

“No. This is not the way to solve this. Janus-” Janus looked up, “Get Remus under control or he will be removed from the equation.” Logan sounded calm and collected, but Virgil could see the fire in his eyes. Janus sighed and put his hand on Remus's back.

“Down boy. This is not the time or place.” He said. Virgil shivered at his tone of voice. He always hated the way Janus talked. Remus shrugged and sat back, crossing his arms and smiling. Logan held onto Roman, waiting for him to calm down. Roman shook him off and sat back down, staring daggers into Remus. 

“Well. Now that that's settled, I believe we do need to discuss why we are here.” Logan said. Janus glared at him.

“Oh yes, lets. This is definitely not a waste of time. It’s been a week, you can’t seriously still be mad over that dream-turned nightmare. You would think you would have more control.” Janus jeered. Logan visibly tensed up.

“We did have control, and you know exactly why we are here. If you believe it to be a waste of time, then it will be settled and Fear will become apart of us-”

“See that's the problem. What makes you think you having him would fix anything? For us or for Thomas?” Janus asked, leaning forward. “If he becomes a Primary side, what happens to Thomas? Or, if you don't care about that, do you know what would happen to him?” Janus pointed to Virgil. Roman raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean what would happen to him?” He asked. Janus’s eyes flared and leaned towards Logan.

“Oh, you haven't told them?” He laughed. Logan's eyebrows twitched. “Oh, that is wonderful!” He turned to Roman, who was not happy being ignored. “Well, when a side is formed they either form like you, or like me. So, what happens when a side like me-” he paused, “tries to become like you?” Patton’s brows furrowed.

“They… become like us?” Patton asked. Deceit sighed angrily.

“Sure! Now, what would that mean for our little friend here?” He asked again, more forcefully. Roman stared at Virgil, obviously thinking hard. Logan pushed his glasses up.

“Well, that would mean he would lose his insect-like characteristics. The extra eyes, the spider legs, the teeth, his complexion could change, he would become more human.” He said, adjusting his tie. “But, I fail to see how this matters-”

“IT MATTERS BECAUSE HE COULD FORGET EVERYTHING!” Janus yelled, slamming his fists on the table. His eyes glowed with an intensity that Virgil had never seen in all his years working with him. Janus sighed and put his head in his hands. “As Patton said, he would become like you, re-forming, losing everything that makes him… him! He could become a whole new side, a whole new person! I can’t-” Janus paused breathing out and looking up, but not at Logan or the others, but at Virgil. “I can't let that happen.”

Virgil stared at him, not understanding anything. When Remus had torn his arms off the first time, Janus had brushed it off. Virgil felt anger bubbling in him.

“Oh, so now you care?” He asked softly, shocking Janus.

“What do you- I’ve always cared! Why on earth do you think I’m so opposed to this idea!”

“You didn’t care when he ripped my arms off the first time! Or when he would swing his fucking mase at me! Or when I had my panic attacks! When have you cared!” Virgil yelled, everything that he had been holding back for the past twelve years flowed out. 

“You were supposed to explain everything to me! You were supposed to guide me through what it meant to be here! But you didn’t! I had to find things out by myself! You left me alone! You made me deal with Remus by myself! Do you know how many nights I’ve had wishing someone would help me, save me?! You say you cared, but did you show it?! They have cared more for me then you have, ever!! I’m done dealing with your guys’ bullshit!!” He cried, angry tears rolling down his face. Janus stared at him, and only after pausing did Virgil notice Janus’s eyes were wetter than usual. Slow clapping filled the room. Remus had leaned back in his chair, feet on the table.

“Wow what a performance! Spider-twink breaks the poor Janus's heart with one sentence! Marvelous!” He sang. “Oh~ I wonder if they will make up in a heated night of rough-”

“SHUT UP REMUS!” Yelled Janus, making the Duke throw a hand over his mouth. Janus breathed a heavy sigh. “I know I can never make up for what I did- or didn’t- do, but I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, ‘cus that makes me feel so much better.” Virgil spat back. Janus looked up at him, and for the first time in Virgil's life, he saw true sincerity in Janus’s eyes. 

“Will… will doing this really make you happy? What if- what if you forget… everything.” Virgil was about to reply with _Good! Nothing happy about you to remember!_ But Janus beat him to it. “And I know that forgetting what Remus- what we’ve put you through would make you happy, but what about the other things? The things that made you want to be here, the little things that made you happy. What about those memories?” 

Virgil faltered. What about those memories? What would happen to Patton’s first cookie? To Logan’s mental health book? To Roman’s oranges and silly nicknames? To his smile when Virgil told him his name? Virgil felt conflicted. He looked at Logan.

“Logan, what are the possibilities of me forgetting everything, and I mean everything,” Virgil asked. Logan straightened up.

“Well, there is a low possibility of complete amnesia because you would only be changing your function in the mind space and your appearance. But, there is a possibility that you would remember big moments rather than the little ones. Such as, your encounters with Remus, or any moment in your existence that caused a momentous amount of emotion. They will be more like how one would visualize what happens when reading a book or is being told a story, basic details and plot will be remembered more than small details. ” He stated. Everyone was silent. Roman was the first to speak up.

“V- Fear, I know I was the one to bring up this whole, switching thing, but is… _that_ worth it?” Roman asked, biting his lip. Virgil knew exactly what he was talking about. Roman had saved him from Remus. Roman had taken care of him while he healed. Roman was the only one who knew Virgil’s name. Roman… cared. Of course, Patton and Logan cared too, but this was different. It made butterflies have a rave in his heart. It made his head swim. It made him feel something other than anxious. Virgil wished the others weren't there, just so he could say what was on his mind. 

_Oh Princy, I would die to be able to see and work with you every day._

“I-I think so.” He said, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He looked at Roman, really looked at him, hoping he would understand what he said next. “If it’s really important, I’m sure I’ll remember.” 

Roman smiled.

Patton cleared his throat.

“So… it’s all cleared up? Janus?” Patton asked. All eyes turned to Janus, who was still looking at Virgil. Janus sighed.

“If it is truly what he wants…” he paused and looked at the members of the table. “Who am I to stop him.” 

**_*~~~*_ **

The first thing Virgil saw was a spider.

A fake spider sitting on the coffee table, but a spider nonetheless.

The next thing he saw was a room full of people.

“Uhh… what's with the spider?” He asked. One of the people walked up to him, and Virgil felt a jolt. _Spider. Waking up. Cookies. Smiles. Patton._

“Hey, kiddo, how ya feeling?” He asked, crouching down. Virgil saw the face. _Eyes. Glasses. Freckles. Hair. Patton._

“Pat-Patton?” He asked, testing the name out on his lips. The person smiled, nodding, and wiped tears from his eyes.

“Hey kiddo, you remember me, uh?” Patton said, grabbing Virgil’s hand. Virgil remembered a bed, sitting in a bed in a lot of pain. And Patton talking to him, about what, Virgil doesn’t remember. 

“Not much. It’s coming in waves.” He said, looking around the room. A person stood near the kitchen. _Book. Logical. Brainiac. Crofters?_ A person with snake-like features stood on the staircase. _Didn’t care. Left me. Didn’t help. Pain._ And… Princy. 

_Disney songs. Pans. Oranges. Fruit. Smiles. Laughs. The best sound in the world. Cared. Helped. Saved. Roman._

“Hey Princy,” He said, smiling. Roman’s eyes lit up, he stepped forward. 

“Hey you Sassy Stormcloud, how are you feeling?” Virgil laughed and sat up, surprising Patton.

“What happened to Damsel in Depression?” Virgil joked, smirking. Patton and Roman squealed, then Virgel felt a body wrap around him. Roman was hugging him.

“Oh, you remember oh thank god.” He said, voice cracking. Virgil hugged him back. The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled them apart. Virgil looked up at the cause, a rush of memories flooding his head.

_Snake. Floor. Remus. Pain. Arms. Ripped apart. Pain. Remus. Didn’t care. Pain. Left. Fear. Pain._

Virgil cried out, white-hot pain shooting through his head. Patton and Roman steadied him, panic radiating off of them.

“I’m fine-” he gritted out, blinking as his vision returned. “I’m fine, just, a lot of bad all at once. I’m fine.”

“Fear-” Janus started, walking towards him. Virgil lifted his hand, stopping him from coming forward.

“Anxiety. My function has changed. I'm not Fear anymore. I'm Anxiety.” He said. Janus stepped back. Roman looked at Virgil hesitantly.

I will assume that the only thing that has changed would be that and your appearance?” He asked, and Virgil heard the real question underneath. _Are you still Virgil?_

“Yeah- I mean, some things are foggy but I’m pretty sure I hate your brother-” Roman laughed. Virgil pointed to Janus, “And I’m pretty sure I don’t like you. As I said, fuzzy but I think I’ve got the basics.” Patton smiled and stood up. 

“I’ll go tet your cookies! I made it with my special ingredient, Love!” Patton ran off into the kitchen. Logan looked at where Patton was confused.

“How do you make cookies with love? That’s hardly a tangible ingredient.” He mumbled. Janus stared at Virgil with a look he could have sworn he recognized, but nothing came to him. Was there something he was forgetting about Janus?

“Is there anything else you remember?” Janus asked. Virgil felt a jolt.

_It matters because he could forget everything! SHUT UP REMUS! Will this really make you happy? If it truly what he wants… who am I to stop him?_

“I remember you didn’t want me to do something, but you let me because it made me happy…” Virgil’s head hurt from trying to remember. What was he missing? “...But that’s all that’s there. Sorry dude.” He said. Janus’s face twitched, Virgil felt a pang in his chest. 

“Its fine, Anxiety. I am just glad you didn’t forget everything, I will be in my room if you need me.” He said, sinking into the floor. Virgil stared after him. Roman put a hand on Virgil’s back, making him jump and realize that his spider legs were gone. 

“You good?” He asked. Virgil nodded.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” Just then, Patton walked in with a plate of cookies. 

“Well kiddo, don’t go to sleep just yet, we’ve still got to celebrate! After that, we can get you all settled in!” Patton said. The cookies were thumbprint cookies, made with Crofters jam. Logan jumped toward the platter, grabbing a few before sitting down and pulling out a book. Roman smiled and looked at Virgil, who smiled in return.

“That would be nice, Patt.”

They all smiled at him, even Logan.

Roman put on a movie. _I think you will love it, it reminds me of you._

It was The Nightmare Before Christmas.

They all watched the show, laughing at Roman’s and Virgil’s sassy comments.

Virgil could get used to this.

…

…

The next morning, Roman gave him a stack of pancakes with orange slices and whipped cream. 

Virgil smiled. _Don’t think because you can’t sit in the ceiling corners anymore I won’t still throw oranges at you!_

Virgil dug in. 

And for the first time in 12 years, Virgil couldn’t wait for the day to start.

Yeah.

Virgil definitely could get used to this. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot short story! Stay safe and stay lovely! <3


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